as is evident from the recipes i post, i love to bake. i like to cook as well but i love baking. this coffee cake is seriously the most amazing thing i've ever tasted. ok, that's extreme...but its definitely up there. i got the recipe from my cousin, heather. this cake has one ingredient that is on my list of things i will absolutely not eat...but this cake is so good that i don't even care.
ingredients:
-1 cup butter
-2 cups sugar
-2 eggs
-1 cup sour cream
-1/2 tsp. vanilla
-1/2 tsp. almond extract
-2 cups flour
-1 tsp. baking powder
-1/4 tsp. salt
-4 tbs. sugar
-3 tsp. cinnamon
(i really just made those measurements up...i just mix up cinnamon and sugar.)
directions:
-preheat oven to 350. cream butter and sugar. add eggs, one at a time, and beat with each addition.
-add sour cream, vanilla, and almond extract. beat well.
-combine flour, baking powder, and salt. add to mixture and mix.
-place 1/3 of the batter in a well greased bundt pan.
-sprinkle with cinnamon and sugar. cover with remaining batter. sprinkle more cinnamon and sugar on top.
-bake for about an hour.
Thursday, January 26, 2012
Monday, January 23, 2012
peace that passes understanding.
its been two months since dad died. it seems like its been an eternity since i had a conversation with him, gave him a hug, or told him i loved him. it seems like way too long. i think the longest i have gone without talking to my dad in some way was seriously a day. until now...and it sucks big time.
i hold so tightly to memories. remembering the past has been amazing...my family has been blessed with the strongest bonds of love that i can ever imagine. we have had many good times together and i am so thankful. i think about my dad a million times a day. i remember his laugh, his smile, his loud voice, his huge hugs. i look at pictures so i can always remember his kind eyes. i remember the good times, the healthy times, the carefree times.
then i remember his last days. its weird when i think about it because that time in the hospital was horrible and wonderful at the same time. it was my worst nightmare coming to life, but it was also a cherished time that was a gift from god.
i know i've written before about dad reciting a favorite passage of scripture. in our last moments, i told dad how i will always remember him spending hours memorizing bible verses with me. i told him that brian intends on doing the same with jude and lucy. i know dad was proud to think of brian carrying on that tradition. so i asked dad what his favorite verse was. it was jeremiah 29:11. he then went on to recite philippians 4:6 & 7. "do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, present your requests to god. and the peace of god, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in christ jesus." it was so awesome to hear him say that, word for word, absolutely perfectly.
a few hours later, dad took his last breath. megan, brian, mom and i said our goodbye's to the man we all loved and admired so much. i remember that moment vividly. i went to dad's side. his body was lifeless. the room was silent. i kissed his cold cheek and touched his forehead. i can't begin to describe how i felt. i was sad, lost, angry...but i felt an intense peace. its the weirdest thing. after days of crying, i didn't even shed a tear. i felt relieved for dad, that he was meeting jesus at that very moment and his pain and suffering was gone. i was happy for him because i knew that he was rejoicing and the battle was over.
we left the room. i ran back in to kiss him one more time. i couldn't fully grasp the fact that this was the last time i would see him. it was such an intense, tragic, out of body experience. we turned the corner and i held onto mom's arm...down the hall, into the elevator, onto the streets of boston. the walk from dad's room to the hospital doors felt like it lasted forever. it was weird. i held onto mom's arm and could not believe what had just happened. how we were leaving without dad?
we walked outside and brian put his arm around me. he said, "that did not even look like your dad." and he was right, it didn't. and it wasn't. my dad was gone and that was just a weak, foreign shell. it totally made sense. dad was in heaven, face to face with his savior, nowhere near boston or mass. general or liver disease.
sometimes i like to remember those days in the hospital and sometimes i don't. but i cling to that peace that i encountered that night. i felt the prayers that were interceded on my behalf and i felt an insane peace that only god can provide. it was overwhelming and unexpected. it gave me strength and comfort. it was the peace that passes understanding.
i hold so tightly to memories. remembering the past has been amazing...my family has been blessed with the strongest bonds of love that i can ever imagine. we have had many good times together and i am so thankful. i think about my dad a million times a day. i remember his laugh, his smile, his loud voice, his huge hugs. i look at pictures so i can always remember his kind eyes. i remember the good times, the healthy times, the carefree times.
then i remember his last days. its weird when i think about it because that time in the hospital was horrible and wonderful at the same time. it was my worst nightmare coming to life, but it was also a cherished time that was a gift from god.
i know i've written before about dad reciting a favorite passage of scripture. in our last moments, i told dad how i will always remember him spending hours memorizing bible verses with me. i told him that brian intends on doing the same with jude and lucy. i know dad was proud to think of brian carrying on that tradition. so i asked dad what his favorite verse was. it was jeremiah 29:11. he then went on to recite philippians 4:6 & 7. "do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, present your requests to god. and the peace of god, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in christ jesus." it was so awesome to hear him say that, word for word, absolutely perfectly.
a few hours later, dad took his last breath. megan, brian, mom and i said our goodbye's to the man we all loved and admired so much. i remember that moment vividly. i went to dad's side. his body was lifeless. the room was silent. i kissed his cold cheek and touched his forehead. i can't begin to describe how i felt. i was sad, lost, angry...but i felt an intense peace. its the weirdest thing. after days of crying, i didn't even shed a tear. i felt relieved for dad, that he was meeting jesus at that very moment and his pain and suffering was gone. i was happy for him because i knew that he was rejoicing and the battle was over.
we left the room. i ran back in to kiss him one more time. i couldn't fully grasp the fact that this was the last time i would see him. it was such an intense, tragic, out of body experience. we turned the corner and i held onto mom's arm...down the hall, into the elevator, onto the streets of boston. the walk from dad's room to the hospital doors felt like it lasted forever. it was weird. i held onto mom's arm and could not believe what had just happened. how we were leaving without dad?
we walked outside and brian put his arm around me. he said, "that did not even look like your dad." and he was right, it didn't. and it wasn't. my dad was gone and that was just a weak, foreign shell. it totally made sense. dad was in heaven, face to face with his savior, nowhere near boston or mass. general or liver disease.
sometimes i like to remember those days in the hospital and sometimes i don't. but i cling to that peace that i encountered that night. i felt the prayers that were interceded on my behalf and i felt an insane peace that only god can provide. it was overwhelming and unexpected. it gave me strength and comfort. it was the peace that passes understanding.
Thursday, January 19, 2012
parenthood.
parenthood is a crazy ride. brian and i always say "can you imagine what life was like before we had jude?" if you're a parent, you know what i'm talking about. i mean, wow. we had such freedom before and we didn't even know it. we could go out, sleep in, run errands without remembering snacks or car seats...we pretty much did whatever we wanted whenever we wanted. and we so took it for granted.
i remember being pregnant with jude and getting so annoyed at the hundreds of people who would say "you just wait 'til the baby is born!" or "get sleep while you can!" it really irked me. as if i thought that the baby would be completely self-sufficient and sleep 12 hours in a row right from the womb. but, now that i am a parent, i see their point (although that doesn't make it any less annoying). brian and i had no clue what we were about to get into. in a way we did, but you can't totally understand it until it happens to you. your life completely changes before your eyes. you become obsessed with things like nap schedules, baby food, snotty noses, and poop consistency.
when jude was a tiny baby i remember thinking that i didn't really matter anymore. my needs were secondary. jude was my number one concern and whatever he needed was my task at hand. and i totally didn't mind. it was weird, this selflessness that came over me. its like i totally didn't care that i had to change diapers and clean spit up all day. it just happened.
but then your baby gets older. he gets an attitude. his little personality forms, the good and the bad, and you see sin nature rearing its ugly head. your kid has an "off" day when they cry all day or don't take naps or hit you in the face...and you think...what was life like before?! i can barely remember those carefree, no worry days of non-parenthood. and i remember those people who don't yet have kids and i want to say "enjoy this freedom while you can because you will never get it back."
don't get me wrong, i love being a mom. its the best. jude is my little sidekick...he copies me, gives me endless hugs and kisses, and entertains me day and night. i cannot imagine life without him. motherhood is such a whirlwind of emotions. its crazy how you can feel so much love and so much frustration all in within the span of an hour. its overwhelming, hilarious, tiring, fun, and annoying all at the same time.
so those people who warned me about my life changing forever were totally right. but what they didn't say was that it was all worth it. yeah, i had lots of sleepless nights at first. yeah, jude sucks the life out of me at times. yeah, i had no clue how my life would change and how my freedom would slowly leave forever. but...i don't even care. i look into those huge brown eyes and cannot help but be thankful for the stress, the crumbs, and the early mornings. its so worth it.
i remember being pregnant with jude and getting so annoyed at the hundreds of people who would say "you just wait 'til the baby is born!" or "get sleep while you can!" it really irked me. as if i thought that the baby would be completely self-sufficient and sleep 12 hours in a row right from the womb. but, now that i am a parent, i see their point (although that doesn't make it any less annoying). brian and i had no clue what we were about to get into. in a way we did, but you can't totally understand it until it happens to you. your life completely changes before your eyes. you become obsessed with things like nap schedules, baby food, snotty noses, and poop consistency.
when jude was a tiny baby i remember thinking that i didn't really matter anymore. my needs were secondary. jude was my number one concern and whatever he needed was my task at hand. and i totally didn't mind. it was weird, this selflessness that came over me. its like i totally didn't care that i had to change diapers and clean spit up all day. it just happened.
but then your baby gets older. he gets an attitude. his little personality forms, the good and the bad, and you see sin nature rearing its ugly head. your kid has an "off" day when they cry all day or don't take naps or hit you in the face...and you think...what was life like before?! i can barely remember those carefree, no worry days of non-parenthood. and i remember those people who don't yet have kids and i want to say "enjoy this freedom while you can because you will never get it back."
don't get me wrong, i love being a mom. its the best. jude is my little sidekick...he copies me, gives me endless hugs and kisses, and entertains me day and night. i cannot imagine life without him. motherhood is such a whirlwind of emotions. its crazy how you can feel so much love and so much frustration all in within the span of an hour. its overwhelming, hilarious, tiring, fun, and annoying all at the same time.
so those people who warned me about my life changing forever were totally right. but what they didn't say was that it was all worth it. yeah, i had lots of sleepless nights at first. yeah, jude sucks the life out of me at times. yeah, i had no clue how my life would change and how my freedom would slowly leave forever. but...i don't even care. i look into those huge brown eyes and cannot help but be thankful for the stress, the crumbs, and the early mornings. its so worth it.
Sunday, January 15, 2012
year 2 for jfk.
jude is two...seriously? how did that happen? it honestly feels like i just had him like a month ago. maybe the fact that i'm hugely pregnant makes it feel as if it was in the not so distant past. its been a huge year for jude, that's for sure. let's reminisce and remember what's gone down.
-jude learned to walk! it certainly took a while, but once he started he was so steady. you would have thought he'd been doing it forever. i remember the big moment well. we were hanging out at home one evening and he just decided to do it...finally. brian and i were dying because jude would giggle so hard with each step he took. he kept doing laps around the island in the kitchen. it was awesome. i wish i could put the video up but this website won't allow, it so you'll have to settle for this picture.
-jude went from having a 4 word vocabulary to speaking in full sentences. i remember at his 12 month well child check i told his dr. that i was kind of worried because he wasn't talking much. he said a few words-mama, dada, bye bye, uh oh-but not much. she said "don't you worry...his language will explode in the coming months." and wow, she was right. when he was about 15 months old i remember thinking how dumb i was for worrying! he has an insane vocabulary. and i'm not just saying that because he's my kid and he rules. i'm not one of those parents that makes stuff up to make my kid look cool. the things he says are amazing. he says "i" when referring to himself, which might be coincidence, but still, its nuts and so cute. he doesn't just mumble or make words up, he speaks as clearly as an adult. i love it.
-jude fell in love with trains, trucks, airplanes, helicopters, buses, and pretty much any other mode of transportation. it all began with a little book called "trucks". we read it once or twice and the obsession soon followed. jude learned the name of every vehicle in that book...mini-loader, excavator, fuel truck, ambulance, etc. then came airplanes, trains, and helicopters. at this point, i don't think a minute goes by without jude mentioning some type of vehicle. we've even heard him roll over in the middle of the night while muttering "airplane". he's such a boy.
-jude's fave, and sometimes least fave, playmate moved to maine. bella! and of course auntie meg and uncle nick. it was a semi-rough transition for the little man. bella was mobile and here to stay! she was playing with his toys at his mimi and bampy's house...not fair! but he soon got used to the idea of having her around and they are now great friends.
-jude had his first trip to boston and his last moments with his bampy. not exactly the greatest of memories, but one i will remember forever. we brought jude and bella to boston to visit dad. he was SO excited. dad could barely go five days without seeing jude so a couple weeks was rough. his face totally lit up when he saw jude. i'll always remember that. the visit was short because the kids were antsy, but it was so worth it. i'm so thankful that jude got to see dad that one last time.
-jude learned to walk! it certainly took a while, but once he started he was so steady. you would have thought he'd been doing it forever. i remember the big moment well. we were hanging out at home one evening and he just decided to do it...finally. brian and i were dying because jude would giggle so hard with each step he took. he kept doing laps around the island in the kitchen. it was awesome. i wish i could put the video up but this website won't allow, it so you'll have to settle for this picture.
-jude went from having a 4 word vocabulary to speaking in full sentences. i remember at his 12 month well child check i told his dr. that i was kind of worried because he wasn't talking much. he said a few words-mama, dada, bye bye, uh oh-but not much. she said "don't you worry...his language will explode in the coming months." and wow, she was right. when he was about 15 months old i remember thinking how dumb i was for worrying! he has an insane vocabulary. and i'm not just saying that because he's my kid and he rules. i'm not one of those parents that makes stuff up to make my kid look cool. the things he says are amazing. he says "i" when referring to himself, which might be coincidence, but still, its nuts and so cute. he doesn't just mumble or make words up, he speaks as clearly as an adult. i love it.
-jude fell in love with trains, trucks, airplanes, helicopters, buses, and pretty much any other mode of transportation. it all began with a little book called "trucks". we read it once or twice and the obsession soon followed. jude learned the name of every vehicle in that book...mini-loader, excavator, fuel truck, ambulance, etc. then came airplanes, trains, and helicopters. at this point, i don't think a minute goes by without jude mentioning some type of vehicle. we've even heard him roll over in the middle of the night while muttering "airplane". he's such a boy.
-jude's fave, and sometimes least fave, playmate moved to maine. bella! and of course auntie meg and uncle nick. it was a semi-rough transition for the little man. bella was mobile and here to stay! she was playing with his toys at his mimi and bampy's house...not fair! but he soon got used to the idea of having her around and they are now great friends.
-jude got the news that he's going to have a little sister. now, lets be real, he obviously has no clue what is going to happen in march. i'm not going to pretend that he does. but it is cute when he talks about lucy and puts his head on my belly to kiss her. although maybe he just thinks that i got really fat and named my extra pounds lucy. you never know.
jude has had quite a year. he's grown into the cutest, funniest, most sensitive little boy and i'm so thankful for him. he's certainly given me a run for my money, as of late, but he's so awesome and i love him more than ever. its amazing how much our lives have changed since he entered in, and there's no going back. we love you, jude farrington keezer!
Monday, January 9, 2012
what i know about being a husband and father.
clearly, i'm not a husband or a father. but i surely know a lot about being one, thanks to dad, brian, and my father-in-law, larry.
growing up, my dad was my life. this is nothing new for those reading this post. but my dad was huge. he was such a gigantic force in my life. when i was little, my dad was the best playmate. i remember playing hide and go seek every night before bed with dad and megan. i was so proud of myself when i found a killer hiding spot and it took dad forever to find me. we spent many summer nights playing wiffle ball in the back yard, shooting hoops, and going for walks.
my dad was the provider for our family. he worked hard every day to give us a good life. we were not living the the lap of luxury, but we had what we needed and then some. we had a great home, nice clothes, food, and lots and lots of love. dad prayed with meg and i every night. he taught us to memorize scripture and read god's word daily. he taught us to live life to the fullest, to love hard, to be loyal, and to stand up for what is right.
dad was a great husband. he loved my mom with his whole being. as a kid, i was so grossed out when i saw them kiss. but aside from the grossness, i found great comfort in knowing that my parents were in love. there are a few things i remember vividly about my dad's final days. one was how evident it was that he loved and needed my mom. there were times when he didn't want her to leave his room. she'd rub his head and he'd say "don't stop." she'd put her cheek against his and he'd say "that feels so warm." he wanted to kiss her every other minute. and even as he took his last few breaths his hand stayed planted on my mom's wrist. it was amazing.
then there's my father-in-law, larry. obviously i don't have any childhood memories of him, but i have known him since i was 15 or 16. he's the best. he is the hardest working, committed, most servant like man i have ever met. he would literally do anything for anyone. since brian and i got married, we've had several moves, deliveries, and home projects and have needed larry's strength and talent. i cannot think of a single time that we've called him that he has not shown up right away with a smile on his face.
larry also has an amazing work ethic that he passed on to both kate and brian. he has a huge and sensitive heart. larry visited dad in boston one weekend. dad went on and on about how much it meant to him. the last two weekends of dad's life he mentioned several times what a great man larry was. while crying dad would say to brian "larry is such a great man, i love him so much." it was the cutest thing.
and then there's brian. wow, what a guy. i mean, they don't make 'em like him anymore. he's such a genuine, big hearted, sensitive, caring person. he works so hard to take care of and provide for his family, its really amazing. brian is the best husband. he's so thoughtful. he's my best friend in the whole world. we've been through so much over our twelve years of knowing each other and it just gets better and better. parenting has certainly been our most interesting, draining, and entertaining experience yet.
watching brian become a dad has been awesome. i remember when jude was born...brian was such a natural! i was honestly in shock. i don't think he had even held a baby before, but you never would have known it. brian and jude have grown to be the best of friends. jude adores brian so much and tries to copy everything he does. brian takes such pride in jude and in being his dad. brian's number one goal is to raise his children to live for jesus. i'm so thankful for that.
dad, larry, and brian have all been amazing examples of what it really means to be a husband and a father. i'm so glad that jude has these men to look up to and learn from. hopefully one day he will have a family of his own and they will feel the same way about him.
growing up, my dad was my life. this is nothing new for those reading this post. but my dad was huge. he was such a gigantic force in my life. when i was little, my dad was the best playmate. i remember playing hide and go seek every night before bed with dad and megan. i was so proud of myself when i found a killer hiding spot and it took dad forever to find me. we spent many summer nights playing wiffle ball in the back yard, shooting hoops, and going for walks.
my dad was the provider for our family. he worked hard every day to give us a good life. we were not living the the lap of luxury, but we had what we needed and then some. we had a great home, nice clothes, food, and lots and lots of love. dad prayed with meg and i every night. he taught us to memorize scripture and read god's word daily. he taught us to live life to the fullest, to love hard, to be loyal, and to stand up for what is right.
dad was a great husband. he loved my mom with his whole being. as a kid, i was so grossed out when i saw them kiss. but aside from the grossness, i found great comfort in knowing that my parents were in love. there are a few things i remember vividly about my dad's final days. one was how evident it was that he loved and needed my mom. there were times when he didn't want her to leave his room. she'd rub his head and he'd say "don't stop." she'd put her cheek against his and he'd say "that feels so warm." he wanted to kiss her every other minute. and even as he took his last few breaths his hand stayed planted on my mom's wrist. it was amazing.
then there's my father-in-law, larry. obviously i don't have any childhood memories of him, but i have known him since i was 15 or 16. he's the best. he is the hardest working, committed, most servant like man i have ever met. he would literally do anything for anyone. since brian and i got married, we've had several moves, deliveries, and home projects and have needed larry's strength and talent. i cannot think of a single time that we've called him that he has not shown up right away with a smile on his face.
larry also has an amazing work ethic that he passed on to both kate and brian. he has a huge and sensitive heart. larry visited dad in boston one weekend. dad went on and on about how much it meant to him. the last two weekends of dad's life he mentioned several times what a great man larry was. while crying dad would say to brian "larry is such a great man, i love him so much." it was the cutest thing.
and then there's brian. wow, what a guy. i mean, they don't make 'em like him anymore. he's such a genuine, big hearted, sensitive, caring person. he works so hard to take care of and provide for his family, its really amazing. brian is the best husband. he's so thoughtful. he's my best friend in the whole world. we've been through so much over our twelve years of knowing each other and it just gets better and better. parenting has certainly been our most interesting, draining, and entertaining experience yet.
watching brian become a dad has been awesome. i remember when jude was born...brian was such a natural! i was honestly in shock. i don't think he had even held a baby before, but you never would have known it. brian and jude have grown to be the best of friends. jude adores brian so much and tries to copy everything he does. brian takes such pride in jude and in being his dad. brian's number one goal is to raise his children to live for jesus. i'm so thankful for that.
dad, larry, and brian have all been amazing examples of what it really means to be a husband and a father. i'm so glad that jude has these men to look up to and learn from. hopefully one day he will have a family of his own and they will feel the same way about him.
Thursday, January 5, 2012
keezer christmas 2011.
on december 23rd we did our traditional christmas lights tour of the bangor/brewer area. this year it was different...we added mom, jude, and bella and we subtracted my grandparents. we also preceded the tour with a trip to the mall to visit santa. it was seriously the funniest experience ever. the picture says it all.
bella cried instantly. she wasn't just crying...she was totally losing it. jude was fine at first...until he saw bella freaking. you can see by the look on his face that the fear slowly progressed, as well as the nose picking, until he too started crying and his finger had totally disappeared. the whole scene was hilarious and heart breaking all at the same time.
christmas eve day began with breakfast at geaghan's. this was a new thing and we know dad would have loved it. there was about fifteen of us. it was loud and fun. later on in the day we had a gathering at my mom's house. family came over to eat dessert, open presents, and chill. we even had a visit from santa!
that night was church. it was a great service despite the fact that it was a "family" atmosphere which meant that there was no nursery. enough said. jude made it through the singing quite well. the sermon he was not a fan of. so i ended up in the back, with all the other parents of toddlers, and missed most of the message. oh well.
being at church made me miss my dad. he loved our church. he loved to sing old hymns on christmas eve. anyone who knew him well can remember, and will probably never forget, his booming voice. not having him next to me or hearing him belt out every word was really crappy.
after church we came back to our house. me, brian, jude, megan, nick, bella, and mom all spent the night. we didn't want to be apart. being together always helps the hurt. we had a cozy evening at home. we read to the kids, put them to bed, and ate dinner while brian put together jude's train table and nick assembled bella's dollhouse.
we stayed up late that night. we talked and reminisced about dad. we shared how much we missed him and how life will never be the same. but no matter how much we hated dad not being there, we were thankful for one another. that went without saying. we went to bed and i cried a lot. nights are the worst for me. brian always just holds me and lets me get it all out. sometimes he cries too. i'm sure there will always be nights like that.
christmas morning came. all the adults got up early. i was so excited for jude to see his train table! it felt like i was a little kid again, but this time the roles were reversed. we drank coffee and set up the gifts. everything and everyone was ready. the perfect finishing touch was when our video camera decided to stop working. awesome. we were able to use our regular camera to get a short video of jude's reaction.
jude loved his train table so much...it made me very happy. almost every morning when he wakes up he looks toward the living room and says "train table?" its so cute. (i think he's freaking out in the picture below because we made him stop playing in order to get a good family shot.)
we soon went to brian's parents house. it was such a good time. we ate breakfast and opened presents with larry, sarah, grandma, kate, and peter. we love spending christmas morning there. its a fun and crazy time that we love so much.
next, we went to mom's house. we ate lunch and opened presents while jude and bella napped. it was way more relaxing with the little buggers asleep. grammy and grampy came, as usual, so it felt a little bit like christmas' past.
aunt and her family came over that night and we all ate fondue and had a sleepover. it was fun...but i felt sad that night. it was a great christmas, but it just wasn't the same. as thankful as i was for all the amazing blessings i was aware of that day, i couldn't get past my dad not being there. i cried a lot that night too. but a good friend of my dad's said something that comforted me a lot. he said, "it may the worst christmas you've ever had, but it'll be the best your dad has ever had." in the midst of my grief i had never thought of that. it totally made sense and i was thankful for that.
christmas was good and bad. i'm thankful for the good.
Monday, January 2, 2012
my mom.
incase you didn't know this, my mom is amazing. that's it. bottom line. i could end right there...but i'll elaborate.
the other day jude was playing and hurt his foot somehow. he ran over to me crying so hard and said "mama!" and did that really cute "snuggling in" thing that he does. i just thought, wow, its crazy how kids need their mom's. and i hope he always feels this way about me...that there are times when the only thing that will heal his hurt is a hug and kiss from his mom. i know that is true for me. growing up, my mom was always there when i needed her. she comforted my pain, wiped my tears, and nurtured my soul. she was the ultimate mom. and i don't think that will ever change. right now, during the worse time in my life, my mom is still there. just her presence helps my hurt, much like when i was a little girl. she's the best medicine.
i am soon reminded of the fact that my mom is suffering the worst hurt in her life and she doesn't have her mother's comfort. not only has she lost her husband, the father of her children and the love of her life, but she also lost her mother. how is it fair for one person to shoulder all that loss? grammy virginia died when my mom was only 19. my mom had to go through the biggest events of her life without her mother. its just not fair.
brian and i were talking the other night about how strong and inspiring my mom is. he was in the car one night, thinking about pictures he has seen of my mom as a little girl, and he was overwhelmed. he said he cried all the way home while thinking about my mom and what an amazing person she is. we cried together that night as we reflected on my mom's grace and strength.
my entire life i've always seen my mom hold her head high as she walks through life's valleys. she has never complained about a single thing. even now, during this difficult time, she remains thankful for what she has and continues to look for the blessings in life. i'll never know why god allowed mom to endure such trials. but i do know that mom has been the most powerful example of strength, grace, and courage for her kids and grandkids. i would be lucky to pass on even a fraction of this legacy to my family.
i strive to be more like my mom. she rules. her example of love and strength will live on forever.
the other day jude was playing and hurt his foot somehow. he ran over to me crying so hard and said "mama!" and did that really cute "snuggling in" thing that he does. i just thought, wow, its crazy how kids need their mom's. and i hope he always feels this way about me...that there are times when the only thing that will heal his hurt is a hug and kiss from his mom. i know that is true for me. growing up, my mom was always there when i needed her. she comforted my pain, wiped my tears, and nurtured my soul. she was the ultimate mom. and i don't think that will ever change. right now, during the worse time in my life, my mom is still there. just her presence helps my hurt, much like when i was a little girl. she's the best medicine.
i am soon reminded of the fact that my mom is suffering the worst hurt in her life and she doesn't have her mother's comfort. not only has she lost her husband, the father of her children and the love of her life, but she also lost her mother. how is it fair for one person to shoulder all that loss? grammy virginia died when my mom was only 19. my mom had to go through the biggest events of her life without her mother. its just not fair.
brian and i were talking the other night about how strong and inspiring my mom is. he was in the car one night, thinking about pictures he has seen of my mom as a little girl, and he was overwhelmed. he said he cried all the way home while thinking about my mom and what an amazing person she is. we cried together that night as we reflected on my mom's grace and strength.
my entire life i've always seen my mom hold her head high as she walks through life's valleys. she has never complained about a single thing. even now, during this difficult time, she remains thankful for what she has and continues to look for the blessings in life. i'll never know why god allowed mom to endure such trials. but i do know that mom has been the most powerful example of strength, grace, and courage for her kids and grandkids. i would be lucky to pass on even a fraction of this legacy to my family.
i strive to be more like my mom. she rules. her example of love and strength will live on forever.
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