for dad.

this is for for those of you present at dad's memorial who could not understand through brian's tears and blubbering. my words re: dad. 

i remember writing an essay in elementary school about my hero. of course, my hero was my dad. at the age of 10, it was a no brainer. and now, after 17 years, i feel that way more than ever. 

my dad was amazing. i could go on and on about all his good qualities but i think we would be here forever. so i will just name a few. my dad taught me how to be loyal. this was one of his greatest traits. he was loyal till the end, no matter what. people mattered to him, and he was always ready and willing to drop everything if someone needed him. my dad taught me to stand up for myself and for what i believe. he taught me to be opinionated and to always do the right thing. dad showed me that family and friends are what life is all about. he showed me how to work hard and respect others. 

but most importantly, he showed me jesus. 

i know that if he were here right now, he would say that this was his greatest achievement: leading his girls to christ and raising them to live in the ways of the lord. he was so proud to be our dad. i don't think a day went by that he did not tell me how proud he was of who i became. and i can easily say that it was all because of him. during these last few years, dad was, in many ways, my best friend. we talked every day. We encouraged each other and shared life's frustrations. we planned the future. we had each others backs. dad was the person i immediately called when i needed advice. he always knew what to say. and he never worried. he had so much faith and trust in what god had already done in his life that he knew he didn't have to worry about anything.

as i think about life without him, the hardest thing is knowing that jude will not have a chance to get to know his bampy. i remember telling dad that i was having a boy. i said, "you're going to have a golfing buddy!" dad was so excited to have a grandson. he always talked about the future with jude…taking him to his first red sox game, going to disney world, weekly breakfast outings to geaghans. as much as we will try to keep dad's memory alive, it will be hard for all of us to live life without him. he was that awesome. 

but through it all, i remind myself that aside from more time, dad had everything he had ever wanted. a beautiful wife, daughters and sons who love the lord, two (soon to be four) amazing grandchildren, and countless friends. but most importantly, he had jesus. and it is because of this that i can find peace in the loss of my father. he is now in heaven, healed of his disease, and praising his lord forever. and as much as we will miss him, he is in the most perfect place, exactly where he belongs.