my dad.

i know there's many people wondering what's up with my dad. for those of you who don't know, or want to be updated, here's the story.

seven years ago he was diagnosed with a liver disease called primary sclerosing cholangitis. that's fancy talk for: your liver is a piece of crap and will some day be useless. something i feel like i always have to explain is that my dad is not an alcoholic. the opposite, in fact. i've never seen him take a drink in my life...ok, maybe an o'douls, but that does not even count. the day we found out was the worst day of my life...until now.

we always knew that his liver would slowly deteriorate until he would eventually need a transplant. what we did not know was that "eventually" would turn into "immediately" so soon. six years came and went with no significant signs of sickness. until this past year, when the signs became clear and the transplant talk was serious business.

we had a transplant meeting at mass general hospital in mid-october to discuss all things transplant. the night before we were planning on heading home, dad was experiencing severe pain. he was taken to the emergency room and admitted to the hospital. it's been four days short of a month now and he's still there. he is not doing well at all. very sick and very weak. dad is experiencing severe "side effects" of his disease and its just plain not good.

what happens now? we wait and hope for a new liver. or for him to come home. for something better than this.

these have been the hardest days of my life. knowing my dad is stuck in the hospital, four hours away, so lonely and sick. i talk to him daily and its always hard. he is in such agony both physically and emotionally, and yet there's nothing i can do. nothing but pray. and please, if you pray, pray for him.

there's really only a few people that i express these feelings to, so many people probably have no clue that this is even going on. that is just how i work. i do not like blabbing my business to people, or having people feel sorry for me. but people are asking and curious, and i am thankful for that. so there's the latest.