Wednesday, April 4, 2012

everything does not happen for a reason.

so, since my last post, i had a baby. she's perfect. honestly...she is. i am so thankful. she's healthy and beautiful and has the most awesome head of crazy, long black hair. she's the cutest baby i've ever seen.

as is obvious from my last post, lucy was supposed to be born on march 22nd. well that didn't happen. my doctor agreed several months ago to inducing me on my dad's birthday, 3/22. dad would have completely flipped if he and lucy shared a birthday! he told me several times in the past that he would love to share a birthday with an important person, like a child or grandchild. so this was perfect.

so the labor room calls me on the 21st. the guy tells me that things are looking crazy and there's a good chance i will not be able to get a room on the 22nd. seriously? like, for real God, what the heck? this is lame.

i call the labor room on the morning of the 22nd. they tell me to call back because its too busy. so i wait. and wait. my stomach is in knots. i then get a call from my doctor. she apologizes and says there's no way i can get in due to some other women who have medical reasons for being induced. stupid.

i ended up being induced the next day and had lucy on march 23rd. a day late.

when crappy things like this happen, people have a tendency to use the handy dandy "everything happens for a reason" line. well that's a load of crap. everything does NOT happen for a reason. there is absolutely no good reason why lucy could not have been born on my dad's birthday. people say, "this way lucy has her own birthday" or "its all in god's timing" or "your dad would have wanted his birthday all to himself." nope, that's false.

i am a wholehearted believer in the truth that God has a plan. he does, always. however, God does not plan for bad things to happen. sin causes them, and God allows it, but sometimes there is not a reason behind it. some things happen just because. life brings disappointments and they aren't necessarily always blessings in disguise. sometimes crappy things just happen.

i wonder why God did not intervene so that lucy could be born on dad's birthday. it was this one, tiny little thing that was perfectly planned and then totally screwed up. why? i'll never know and there will never be a good enough reason to make sense of it.

but what i do know is that i came out of this with the most adorable baby who is healthy and strong and perfect. so i guess that's all that matters.

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